I am very proud of myself so far with my audition piece. I don't watch American Horror Story, but this monologue makes me want to watch the season now. I love Emma Roberts and was really excited to see that she had her own monologue. I really wanted to challenge myself for my final piece in acting. Ever since Alexis' serial killer monologue, I really wanted to perform something like it. Although my monologue is not as scary as Alexis, it is very deep and shows the emotional trauma that one girl has had to go through in her life. I'm very happy that there was an opportunity for me to find my own piece that would show off my strengths and challenge me as well.
Because I love the monologue and have watched it countless times, I memorized the monologue pretty quickly. The only slight problem I have is that I forgot one line (which was actually a pretty important one) while studying it over break which somewhat threw me off order. However, I have solved that problem and am pretty solid with the memorization now. Now, I am working on memorizing the blocking because although I know what I want to do, I sometimes forget the order of everything. I also have not been feeling well lately so it's been hard to practice to the best of my ability.
This has been very challenging for me as an actor, but I am glad I selected this monologue. It is a monologue that I really like so I guess that's why I have really put my best effort into this monologue and remembered the lines so well. The monologue itself is just downright creepy and disturbing which is something I have never acted before. There's a lot of different layers and I feel that each line of the monologue is interpreted in many different ways. One line I particularly like is "Take away my mother, and my asshole father..." because my character kills her father a couple years before the monologue takes place. Although it is an event in the past, she still remembers it vividly. I have tried to emphasize this line by looking at my knife and holding it a little bit tighter.
I was a bit nervous to perform the monologue yesterday because I knew it wasn't going to be anything like anybody expected from me. My voice was raspy from being sick and I was almost positive I was going to have at least one voice crack in the middle of the monologue. I was shocked to hear all the positive feedback after my monologue. While I knew I gave it a strong effort, I thought that I may have not been doing as well as I thought I was. After all, this monologue is like nothing I have performed before. I also received some good critiques that I think will make my monologue better. I thought I was going too slow, but many people said slowing it down even more would make the monologue really creepy. I was very happy that people thought it was my best performance so far and that it was a good choice.
I am very excited to perform the first draft of my monologue tomorrow!
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